From White House to the Big House

Last Saturday I was up in the nation's capital visiting my friend Ashlee and the two of us decided to go to the BBQ Festival. This ended up being quite an experience as a simple food demonstration turned into me being maybe minutes away from replacing Whitey Bulger on the FBI most wanted list.

The Beginning
As is the case at any food festival of course you want to try a ton of samples. I was expecting to eat about 10 pounds of BBQ after paying a $12 admission fee just to get in. However, the only free samples as it turned out were at the Safeway tent. Naturally 90 percent of the people at this festival enjoy free stuff as much as the next guy so Ashlee and myself waited in line for what was probably approaching two hours. Then we came to find out that the samples were pretty much what you get on a Saturday afternoon when you reach the end of an isle at Safeway. Ironically none of the free samples had anything to do with BBQ - at a BBQ festival!!!! We loaded up though and made the most of our wait in line. With a stack of unfinished goods in hand when we reached the end of the line a place to sit was next on the list. At the end of the tent they had several folding chairs set up where they were doing food demonstrations mixed in with some sweet live music (a piano and drums).

More Free Stuff
A demonstration just started up after we took a seat. A guy was going to grill up some steaks which had me salivating since being from a landlocked state has stuffed me into the meat and potatoes category of carnivores. A couple sat next to us and through a question the guy asked I discovered that by asking a question you get free gifts. This was my opportunity to get my monies worth from my admission fee so I asked something about why he put the fruit and vegetables on the grill with the steak. I didn't care about the answer but my prize was a set of stainless steel grilling tools in a nice case (pictured below).

Was I Approaching the FBI's Most Wanted List?
After we had our fill of the BBQ festival we decided to skip over a couple of blocks to see the White House. Both of us had seen it before but it is like when you go to Mount Rushmore, you have to go see the faces on the mountain. We began our stroll over and laughed at numerous people getting yelled at by bicycle cops to stay off certain areas of the grounds. We reached a dead end as a fence blocked off what used to be the path to where you go and view the White House from in front of a fence about a mile away with your binoculars or telescope. We turned around and looked for another path to where all the other people were ooing and awwing. We found a long trail between two orange net fences and said "this must be it". It turned out it either rained or they watered the grass way too much because it was muddy and my free sneakers from Duke got ruined (I would like to get reimbursed for the shoes if anyone from the White House is an avid reader of my blog). With mud-covered shoes I could now care less about the White House but at this point I was like the Griswolds in National Lampoon's Vacation and the White House was my Wally World. I was carrying my free set of grill tools with me and set the silver case down on the ground so I could take a snapshot like any American tourist would.

 
At this point the security on top of the White House doubled in size immediately and although I was over a mile away and my cheap camera as 2x zoom or something like that I could swear they were all pointing their sniper rifles at the two of us. I picked the case back up and we exited the premises before word got relayed to the bicycle cops. As swift a foot as I am, I am no match for an officer on two wheels. I have a feeling in this case it would be a shoot first, ask questions later scenario. The other option running through my mind was spending the rest of my days in Leavenworth prison because I asked a dumb question at a steak grilling presentation. 

The Mason Jar

This week's blog has to do with my new found discovery from my trip back home to Colorado ... drinking beer from a mason jar. It was the night before I had to fly back to North Carolina and I was in Denver hanging out with my friends from home Aaron, Josh and Dane. We all went to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill where I also met up with my friend Tanya and her husband Joe. I had heard about this place before but I had no idea it would be as great as it was.

After we all got there Josh bought a round for all and they came over with 32 oz mason jars filled with beer. Once it hit the lips it was so good and I said "fill it up again." The beer tasted as good as it ever has coming from the jar and I knew from that point on Toby Keith was a genious. Not only was his beer in mason jars a great idea but he also had really attractive ladies who were called "Whiskey Girls" who were around all over the place. It was a great bar for all types of people and also featured a mechanical bull and live music. It basically had everything I want in a place - great beer, gorgeous women and live music.

Here are some other little known facts about mason jars. They were invented and patented by John Landis Mason, a Philadelphia tinsmith, in 1858. Mason jars are made of soda-lime glass and come in a variety of sizes including pint, quart, half-gallon and cup, as well as in wide-mouth and regular-mouth openings.

Now prior to this week I had only ever thought of mason jars as being used for canning goods. My grandparents used them for that very reason all the time, canning pickles, green beans, jam, peaches and other things. I had never thought of them being used for drinking beer. It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I almost missed out on this for 30 years.

The trip to Toby Keith's bar has got me thinking now that I am back East. One of my first goals for next week is to find some mason jars to load up my cabinet with. I will be splurging for the quart size which was just about perfect last weekend. This is something I recommend to all and will start spreading the word throughout the South although I bet some people probaby drink moonshine from mason jars in the back woods of Guilford County.

Fat Chicks and the Homeless

While the title of this blog may turn a lot of people off of it I feel they shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Fat Chicks has absolutely nothing to do with what you think it might and, well, homeless people is a topic everybody has an opinion on so I am going to give mine today. Welcome to the second edition of my blog.

Fat Chicks
I have returned to my home state, Colorful Colorado, for my annual summer visit. On the weekends during the summer my father and stepmother run the Hedlund House Museum in my hometown of Hugo. I went to visit my pops this past Saturday afternoon and while he was showing some out-of-towners the house and its exhibits I was chillin in the office reading various items lying around. Then I came across a local magazine called Colorado Country Life. One of the story headlines on the cover stated "The Fat Chicks." The way my mine works I immediately became intrigued by this thinking "Why in the world would someone put that on a cover of a magazine."

The headline did its job, however, sparking my interest to read the article as I was laughing pretty hard when I read it. Turns out the story dealt with four draft horses that pull a wagon. The owner of the horses gave them the nickname "Fat Chicks" after looking at their "nice, round, colorful behinds" all day long.

This story also reminded me of another reference to fat chicks. A co-worker of mine is always talking about a restaurant in Pennsylvania that sold a sandwich called a "fat chick" and he wanted to open up his own place that sold the same sandwich. A google search for fat chicks brought some unfortunate results so I had to add in sandwich to the search title. What I came up with was the same exact sandwich he always talks about located at a place called Benchwarmers in Ithaca, N.Y. The sandwich contains a 20 oz breaded chicken breast, grilled bacon, melted Monterey Jack cheese and an excessive amount of fries and if anyone eats it in under 30 minutes they get a t-shirt.

Homeless People

I think a lot of people share my points of view on homeless people which basically entails anybody can avoid being homeless they just have to be willing to work. In my opinion there are plenty of opportunities out there for work you just have to be willing to do anything. If I were homeless I would accept any job out there to get off the streets and have a roof over my head. An argument some might have is that businesses aren't willing to hire someone off the streets because of their appearance, stinch or reliability issues. Are you telling me though that even the insurance place that has a person dress up as the Statue of Liberty or Chick-Fil-A that puts someone in a cow suit won't hire someone to stand on the corner and wave a sign at cars driving by. There are plenty of opportunities out there just watch the show Dirty Jobs. Those people stink from their job so have homeless people do some of that.

The problem as most people know is that the reason 99 percent of them became homeless was alcohol and drug addiction. I hate when people give them money because they will just go spend it on their addiction. In college when my buddy and I were in New Orleans I went and bought a bottle of liquor and a playboy to give to a homeless man. I figured I would save him the trouble of taking my money and buying the same thing. He was probably the happiest homeless man ever. Sure I would like to believe in the best of people and that if you give them money they will use it for food or save it up to where they can buy nice clothes and get back on their feet with a job, but nine times out of 10 there is zero percent of that happening.

Even Ted Williams "the man with the golden voice" that was found in Columbus, Ohio couldn't get his life straight. He was offered numerous jobs people would only dream about but continued his alcohol addiction and was convinced to go to rehab by Dr. Phil. I looked up what he is doing now and an article two months after his story hit the national news said he was living in a halfway house in Los Angeles trying to shop a reality TV show. That is what is wrong with television these days but I will get into that another time.

One other thought I have had about homeless people is why don't they migrate to warmer climates. Not that I want Florida and Arizona to be only retired folks and homeless people but what sence does it make to sleep out in the freezing cold. I always think about this when I am in New York City or Boston or even North Carolina in the middle of winter. Save up $40 and buy an Amtrak ticket to somewhere down South where you won't nearly freeze to death. Homeless people should take lessons from birds and fly south for the winter.   

The Big Apple

Oh The Big Apple, city that never sleeps, NYC. I want to start off by saying that this trip was sponsored by the ESPY Awards and John Mosley. As many of you know last summer I went to the ESPY Awards in Los Angeles and received a gift bag. Among the gifts was a free hotel in NYC which turned out to be awesome - Marcel Gramercy off 24th st and 3rd ave.

Shake Shack
Once I arrived at the hotel it was a little after lunch time so I was starving. I walked about four blocks before discovering a gem. There was a place in the middle of Madison Park called the Shake Shack and the line was about 100 people deep. Anybody who enjoys food knows that if there is a line then it must be good. I stood in line for about 45 minutes before placing my order. It was well worth the wait as I would end up going back again for lunch the next day.

Empire State Building
I have been to the top of the Empire State Building before but I love the view so I decided to head up there again this trip. On my way over there I got the idea to make fun of the city's nickname so I stopped at a grocery stand and bought an apple. In the line to go up they had one of those photographers that takes your picture and tries to sell it to you as a souvenir. In mine I held up the apple with a big smile and got a laugh from the photog (didn't get the picture for free however). Once at the top I took a picture of the apple with the city in the background and joked about the nickname on facebook saying "I thought the Big Apple would be a little bigger than this." The view is amazing and I recommend it.

Times Square
This reminded of why I could never live in New York. I get extremely frustrated in large crowds and when I walked to Times Square there was some kind of food festival going on and streets were basically filled to capacity. I shoved my way through to see a ton of ads for broadway shows and even got on a big screen for some TV show as a bunch of people started screaming when I walked by them and I looked up and there I was on the screen on the side of the building. There were so many people though that I couldn't stand it and left immediately.

Central Park
I have only seen the edge of central park before so on my second day in NYC I decided I wanted to check out the entire thing (I had no idea it was like 40 blocks long). I admit I got lost in the middle but just kept walking. It was way cool though and enjoyed zig-zagging my way through it. It is like the Mall of Americas in Minneapolis where you can't believe what is inside. They had a reservoir, lake, playgrounds, huge meadows, restaurants, zoo, tennis courts, softball fields, I mean tons of stuff. My favorite part of my walk through, however, was a street performer. The guy played a guitar and harmonica while also playing a symbol and box drum with his feet. He was really good and I even bought one of his homemade CDs. I will have to see if it is any good or a scam but $5 was worth it just for the few songs I listened to while there.

Yankees Game
Thanks to my old boss Boo Corrigan and a guy he knew named John Mosley my friend Mike Forman and I got some awesome free tickets for the Yankees/Red Sox game. We were unsure if we really had the tix because of Mike's conversations with John the previous week but it turned out we did and the seats were 12 rows up behind the Yankees' dugout for one of the biggest rivalries in sports. Amazing seats that have $325 face value. The experience was terrific as we also sat with and got to know actor Matthew Modine from Full Metal Jacket. He will also be in the new batman movie I believe. Although prices for everything were ridiculous I had no problem buying a couple of beers and some buffalo chicken sliders because we got the tix for free. Not too bad for my first ever trip to Yankee Stadium.

And I will walk 500 miles
It seemed like I definately walked 500 miles haha. It wasn't until the second day I was there that I got smart and used the subway. The first day I walked over 60 blocks at least and the second day I walked at least 40 blocks in central park so my legs were a little tired each day but it was more fun to see the city above the street than below anyway.

Beers
The price of everything in New York is ridiculous but people make a killing on beer. The cheapest beer I bought was $5 and most were around $7. My buddy Forman paid $14 for two Pabst Blue Ribbon beers at a bar after the Yankees game. I never thought I would see a Pabst cost $7. I guess it makes it harded to get drunk because nobody can afford to. Maybe that is the answer to stopping drunk driving.

Crazy Homeless Lady
I am going to leave with a story about a crazy homeless lady at the Shake Shack. The park officer told her to leave and on her way out she walked by two girls sitting at a table and grabbed the hair of one girl and yanked down. Surprisingly the girl was unfazed by this - must happen in New York a lot. The homeless lady then through two boxes of food she dug out of the trash can and started spitting jibberish. She walked to the line for food and yanked down another ladies hair, this time causing the lady to scream out. The park officer was called over by numerous spectators and escorted the homeless lady out of the park. The second hair victim was noticeably upset and cried for a good 10 minutes. I hope she is able to overcome this incident.