Great Human Interest Story

Last night I experienced possibly the last ever Hex Rally. It is a pep rally for Texas held at the tower before every Texas-Texas A&M football game. The experience was really cool and was easily the best pep rally I have ever been to. There were about 10,000 people there, all going crazy when the team walked through the crowd and two seniors spoke. My man Fozzy Whittaker got a huge ovation when he crutched his way through. It was great to hear Mack Brown address the crowd and see everyone in the crowd lighting red candles to put a hex on the Aggies. It was a one-of-a-kind event in collegiate athletics.

As great as the Hex Rally was it was what came after that really impressed me. I was trying to get coach Brown through the mob of people who wanted to take their picture with him or have him sign an autograph while still trying to keep a watchful eye on the Longhorn Network cameras and our players. Mack is way too nice and wouldn't stop greeting people and I lost the crew so things were not going well.

After I finally found the LHN guys I escorted them from the football facility and went back to see if any players or coach were getting hounded by media. As I walked down the street I found Coach Brown and two of our offensive lineman, Luke Poehlmann and Sedrick Flowers, with a little girl who was crying. The little girl was around 8-10 years old probably and had been separated from her dad amidst the chaos of 10,000 people trying to exit the rally.

Coach Brown was on the phone with the girl's mother because amazingly enough the girl remembered her phone number. Mack was trying to get a number for the father but the two were divorced and the mom didn't know his number and hadn't seen him in a year. It was a weird circumstance but all along the two players were talking to the little girl and keeping her calm and comfortable. It was the two players who originally found the girl by herself crying and stopped to see what was wrong.

Eventually I assume the dad was located because he found his way to where we were at and all was well again. This entire thing was really eye-opening to how great coach and the two players were. They had been on campus since the 6 a.m. team meetings and through a day of press conference, practice and the pep rally it was at this point 10:30 p.m. and yet they still were willing to do the right thing. I applaud them for that.

I will end this blog with two quotes from the dad who did not leave the greatest impression when he arrived.

On finally locating his daughter
"This is quite a way to get to meet coach Brown"

Response to Coach Brown telling him he had to buy the little girl ice cream
"Only if you beat Texas A&M"

Fear of the Drive By

For starters I have never crossed anybody in the wrong circle that I know of but for some reason I have always feared drive-by-shootings. The fear first came about when I was living in Alabama probably. I was sitting on my couch in the living room which was even with the big glass window that led out to the patio of my apartment. I heard some loud noises outside and started wondering if there was some shenanigans going on. Then I started to think what if there was some fighting and someone pulled out a gun and started shooting. An errant bullet could easily come flying through my window and I would be the broad side of the barn chillin on my couch. Boom ... donezo.

I am never afraid of someone coming after me but when living in an apartment or housing complex with minimal distance between you and your neighbor you never know. The neighbor could be involved in trafficking drugs or is in deep with a bookie and owes a lot of money. He/she may have slept with someones spouse or committed a crime that would end in a police standoff. It is my extreme lack of faith in the character of the general population that has driven my concern for such things.

Part of this all may stem from watching movies where this happens. The car full of gang members creeps up on a place from around the corner and opens fire, peppering the walls of a rival gang's house with rapid fire bullets. Most likely holding the gun sideways they are either out to send a message, defend their turf or get revenge. At least that is what is the usual for movies.

My answer has been to be out of harms way. When I lived in my first floor apartments all these years I would place my couch somewhere so it wasn't directly in front of the window. Either that or I would lay on the floor to watch TV, being underneath the window sill level and away from the glass. In my Durham Townhouse I felt much safer because the street was almost like a full room away from the areas where I spent all my time as the dining room and kitchen were behind the garage, the living room on the backside of the house and the guest bedroom facing the street instead of my room. Because I rarely have guests, I was never concerned for their safety with the guest room. Now I live on the second floor and would be more worried about an idiot living below me setting a fire and being unable to escape then I would be a drive by.

I wonder if the best thing to do would be to decorate my house year long with Christmas lights and decorations. I have never seen a movie where someone's house was shot up in a drive by during the holidays. If someone knows of this happening let me know so I can withdraw this idea from my bank of thoughts. 

Golden Girls was legit

The Golden Girls was a great show. I may take some slack for saying it but I don't care. It may not have been everyone's cup of tea but what other show compares to it when you sit down and think about it. How many other shows are based solely about the elderly population. When I think of sitcoms only three categories really come to mind. Either shows about families, crime shows or hospital dramas. Since I don't like crime shows or hospital dramas those two are elminated and most family shows are all basically the same thing. Then you have the Golden Girls.

Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sofia were the four main characters on the show. As my grandfather once put it there was an idiot (Rose), slut (Blanche), funny old lady (Sofia) and Dorothy. These four characters experienced many of the things that most elderly do experience I would imagine but the comedy was underrated.

The storyline was great as it had four older ladies living together in a house. All four had been married at one point and were either widows or divorced. I would like to say I had a favorite character but they were all equally great. Betty White played Rose and she may be one of the funniest women in TV history. Lake Placid is a stretch for a storyline but she is hilarious in it. Blanche enjoyed her men and had many suitors. She was a southern belle which is about as good as it gets in my mind. Sophia was Dorothy's mother. She was sarcastic, humurous and spoke her mind but you could tell life experiences made her very wise and her comments to Rose were some of the best lines on the show.

Think about the show in today's world, 20 years after it ran its course. If they did a remake who would you get to be in it? Meryl Streep could be in it, maybe Helen Miron or Jane Seymour. None of them really compare though. Then think about 40 years down the road ... would you have Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Brittany Spears and Miley Cyrus as the cast? I don't think so.

I strongly believe that there will never be another show quite like the Golden Girls. There will always be another show like friends or modern family, or ER and CSI-Any City in the Country, but who would have the guts to make a show using an entire elderly cast? Thank you Susan Harris for creating the show.

Why should I shave?

Lately when I wake up in the morning I have less than zero interest in shaving. I am not sure if this is because I don't get much sleep with all the hours I am working, if I just don't think about it or if I am at the point where I honestly don't care what I look like. This is a question I started asking myself on Saturday.

We had an 11 a.m. football game so naturally I had to be up by 7 a.m. I had worked the night before until 10 p.m., extending my 12 hour day streak. If this continues my streak will be way more impressive than Cal Ripken's. How many hours a day did he have to work, 5-6? Anyways on Saturday it was 7 a.m. and I was out of it, seeing things about as clearly as if Iwas running full speed through a pitch black night in the middle of a rain forest. I had gone several days without shaving because for a lack of a better reason I didn't want to take the time. My face was no longer like a babies bottom and more like sand paper. What I should have said to myself was "I should shave since it is gameday" but instead I said "Who gives a crap? Nobody will say anything anyway."

My real time voice was correct because I didn't shave and nobody said a word. About 10 minutes before kickoff I happened to see the end of College Gameday and the guest picker was Brian Wilson. He is not only one of funniest men I have ever seen but also has a really great beard. Seeing him got my thoughts way off track of college football and I started to think about what might happen if I just stopped shaving for good.

I have never really been able to grow great facial hair. The hair on my neck and side burns grow really well but my mustache comes in blonde and the rest brown. I also can't grow any hair beneath the corners of my lower lip either so a full beard is out of the question. But since I didn't really care what I looked like Saturday, maybe I won't care what I look like the rest of the year or even the rest of next year.

In fact I might decide to let myself go. It is for instance the time of year when swimmers don't shave their legs because they want slower times now than in March. It is also starting to get colder so men like to grow facial hair to keep themselves warm and go hunting (facial hair and beer are necessary to shoot animals is what I have learned). I know my beard would not be considered one of the greatest facial hairs in history (see below for my top 10) but I do think I might just it go.

Ben's Top 10 Facial Hair
1. My dad - had a beard ever since I have been alive and would look strange without one

2. William Lee Golden - Oak Ridge Boys singer with deep voice who is similar to ZZ Top

3. ZZ Top - the longer the better

4. Brian Wilson - comedy and a beard is a win-win combination

5. Every single person who entered and tried to win the World Beard and Mustache Championship
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/
6. Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazard - all white and full of wisdom

7. Sean Connery - the best James Bond and a great beard

8. Zach Galifianakis - see reason for Brian Wilson

9. Rollie Fingers - played for the Oakland A's

10. Ian McKellen - Lord of the Rings white wizzard

Honorable Mention:
Abraham Lincoln - famous beard but not one of my top 10 although he kind of counts in the civil war
Sam Elliott - from the movie Tombstone which had a lot of great mustaches
Hulk Hogan - great mustache and loved him growing up
Alexi Lalas - would have made the top 10 if he wasn't a soccer player
Conan O'Brien - he shaved it for awhile so lost points
Chuck Norris: Walker Texas Ranger

Not sure how I got to the list but it may have saved this blog topic.

I don't understand the baseball tradition

I am a big sports fan and love watching baseball but ever since I was little there was one thing I never understood. Why do managers wear the uniforms like the players? A lot of them are fat, old guys who I can relate to but I can't relate to wearing the uniform. I have brought this up to several friends of mine in the past but a link I saw the other day refreshed my memory on the subject.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/23/opinion/greene-baseball-manager-uniforms/index.html?hpt=hp_bn9

I am right with this guy all the way. Tony Larussa just won the world series and is my favorite manager of all time because of when he managed the A's but he looks ridiculous. Can you imagine if coaches had to wear uniforms in every sport. I would love to see Rex Ryan throwing on football pads and a helmet. He would look like a big green version of the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man. Or in basketball if Coach K had real baggy shorts and a jersey with no t-shirt underneath. He would look a lot like one of his campers during K Academy and that is not a pretty site let me tell you no matter how much you work out when you get older. Now what are some of the sports where this would be the funniest? How about a swim coach putting on a speedo and nothing else? The last U.S. swimming coach is here at Texas and he is around 70 years old. There might be some volleyball coaches I would like to see in the tight spandex but definitely not any of the male ones. The only other coaches that remotely come close to wearing what the players do are tennis and golf but everyone who is a country clubber only has a selection of five ugly shirts and pants to choose from at the pro shop.

Going back to baseball ... I understand why managers had uniforms back in the 20's and 30's because most of them were the veteran guys on the team who coached and played both. However, when it became a job that was strictly coaching and not playing they should have went the sweater vest route like Tressel or the hooded sweatshirt like Belichek if nothing else. I think everybody that works with the team should get to wear the uniform, not just the manager, coaching staff and bat boy. I would like to see the guy playing the organ in a full uniform, stepping on the foot pedal with his golden spikes. Maybe the guy selling beer could wear batting gloves so he doesn't drop any.

This is the thing in sports that disturbs me the most besides ESPN but who am I to be the rational one. Let these old guys feel youthful and attached to the game by wearing uniforms. I am shocked Nolan Ryan didn't have on a uniform as a GM sitting at the World Series. At least he earned the right unlike some of the other managers in baseball.

Panic! At the Disco

Everyone says Austin is the live music capital of the world so a couple of weeks ago I went and checked out a list of upcoming concerts and found that Panic! At the Disco was coming to town. They were going to be playing at a place called La Zona Rosa downtown so I decided it would be fun to go. I like a couple of their songs and most importantly it would get me out of this funk I have been in with work dominating my life.

Not expecting much other than a night out, I was shocked when Panic! At the Disco put on an amazing show and became one of my two favorite bands right now. I would say the country concerts I have been to were people more my age but this concert had way better sound quality, venue and music.

From previous experiences most concerts are fun but the music is never as good as it sounds on CD or ITunes or whatever. Usually all you hear is a ton of base, loud noise and some mumbling into a microphone but if you know the band well it doesn't matter because you already know the words. This concert started out that way as Foxy Shazam and Patrick Stump both had those qualities. Stump does have a terrific voice but it got lost a lot in the loudness of the bass guitar. I will give Stump some credit because he played the same song Mike Tyson sang at the piano in The Hangover!

However, Panic! At the Disco must have some extraordinary sounds technicians because the voices were clear as day as was each instrument. The energy was extremely high and the talent is through the roof for those four guys. It was one of those concerts where as soon as you get in your car you want to play their CD and listen to all those songs all over again. In fact as I am writing this I am listening to my Panic! At the Disco pandora station and the Ballad of Mona Lisa just came on haha. The concert was awesome and I would love to go back and see those guys again.

The venue was also good. It wasn't a huge basketball arena or some big outdoor place with a ginormous lawn. If I were to guess La Zona Rosa could probably hold around 500-1000 people and it was great because I could see the stage really well and I didn't have to get in the middle of a bunch of crazy high school kids. I am not a big crowd person so I found a great leaning place up against a wall with a clear view of the stage and nobody crowding me or running into me. Also of note the La Zona Rosa was mentioned in a song by Little Texas called Amy's Back in Austin. The line reads

I bet Amy's back in Austin
Workin' at the LaZona Rosa Cafe
I remember the night we lost it
And the day she went away

Well Ben is back in Austin but I would recommend Amy not come back unless she is going to see Panic! At the Disco.

State Fair: Fried Food and Crazy People

My absense from the blog world has in large part been due to me moving halfway across the United States, trying to get a place to live, learning a new city and working every waking moment of my day but not that I have figured some of that out I decided to get back into the swing of things. I am sorry if some of you have enjoyed the absense of my blog because it is back baby!!

There are countless topics I could write about with my new experiences this past month here in Austin, Texas but I have instead decided to go a different route and talk about the State Fair.

This time of year is usually when most states have people from all over conglomerate for a few simple things ... fried food, carnival rides and games and people watching. Well at least that is why I go and I can only speak for myself.

I remember the county fair growing up in my hometown and have some good memories from when I was younger. I would like to thank my grandpa for letting me enter one of his ducks to win a grand champion purple ribbon one year. For anyone who knows me I don't know the first thing about ducks or taking care of one but it was a way for my grandpa to get me some extra cash.

When I got older I hated the county fair mostly because I was ready to get out of town and experience the world and also because some of the cowboys made me mad. Now I live in Texas where more cowboys can make me mad haha. The only two cowboys I ever really liked were John Wayne and the giant cowboy in Las Vegas. I liked John Wayne because I heard he used to own an entire street block and he lived on one end and his wife on the other. You have to love your personal space. With the Vegas one I don't need to explain.

I really fell in love with the State Fair when I moved to North Carolina. An annual event, I would go and try different fried foods. One year I even ventured to try a turkey leg which congealed in my stomach like candle wax and allowed me swallow fire if I wanted to. I also learned the tricks of the trade from eight year old kids on the water gun carnival game. After studying them for a good one or two hours I perfected my approach and am now dominate. I have a stuffed clownfish and a stewie doll from family guy to show for it.

This year I was very excited to check out the Texas State Fair. The Red River Rivalry game and state fair all in one place ... perfect storm right. Well work got in the way and I never really got to spend any time at the fair. After we lost the game in the second quarter I thought about leaving at halftime to go walk around but decided I should keep my job. So afterwards we made one quick walkthrough and got a famous corny dog which by the way is just a regular corn dog and nothing worth bragging about. It was hard walking by the fried bubble gum stand for three straight days and not partaking I can tell you that. Next year I vow to double my fried food intake to make up for this year however.

I did get my fair share of people watching in this year though and let me tell you it never gets old. I can't describe any in particular but I am positive Jerry Springer could do a one stop shop for guests on his show.

To close this week I would like to mention that I have thought seriously for the last two years about leaving my job and going on the road as a carny for one year. I feel I could run a ring toss game or guess people's birthday or something and then just talk to random people. After one year I could easily write a book and become a best selling author.

Austin - Austin, Massachusetts

My apologies for skipping a couple of weeks on my blog. Or maybe it has been a blessing for some people I don't know. A lot has changed in those two weeks. I went from being in my 20's and finding happiness with everything from work to my lifestyle to being in my 30's and not knowing what the hell I am doing (in a good way).

There has been a mixture of emotions during that time. I was running daily at my new townhome which both made me feel better emotionally and worse physically. I picked up a lot of video projects at work that I enjoyed thoroughly and gave me a sense of accomplishment at work for the first time in a couple of years. Then right before Duke's first football game I got an email from the University of Texas asking if I would be interested in a position with football there. Because I felt so good with things in my life I was hesitant but told them I would talk about it.

The next day I had two conversations and by night time I had a flight booked to Austin, Texas (not Austin, Massachusetts) for the next Tuesday to interview. Things progressed pretty well and meetings with everyone were good except the men's track coach who must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. All in all it became a really good opportunity for me to advance my career. Two days after interviewing in Texas an offer was extended and accepted. It was an offer I couldn't refuse both long term for my career and short term for my finances haha.

Hook Em Horns!! This is similar to how Mack Brown and Texas made me feel.

Perfect timing right, I finally put the pieces together and then the puzzle falls off the table and I have to start rebuilding it. Not only did I have a week to pack up my townhouse which I still am renting in North Carolina, but I also had to squeeze in what little time I had to spend with my wonderful friends in Durham. Last Friday was a tough day for me. I am not good at saying goodbye but Duke was the first time since high school that I was in one place long enough to really build strong bonds with people so it made it that much harder. I got to where I could be myself around people in our office which is really just acting like an 8-year old kid half the time. I will miss the fun I had there - no doubt.

So on to Texas I headed. The good way to get over my sadness was a night of Brad Jones in Atlanta. Not only did seeing the big guy cheer me up but his family is equally as awesome and Bennett maybe the coolest kid in the world. My 21-hour drive over three days also gave me a chance to reunite with a former boss in Tuscaloosa for a quick lunch, a stop at a casino on the Mississippi River and a local hole-in-the-wall saloon in nowhere Texas that had $1.50 beers. Finally yesterday afternoon, on my 30th birthday, I arrived in my new city to start my new life ... broke and homeless but luckily with some family in town. My birthday was depressing at first when I thought about having to cancel my sweet reverse surprise birthday party I had worked hard to plan. But a singing phone call from a friend's aunt and a dinner with cousins helped make my day better and like Tim McGraw sang ...

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
Or my line I added "In my next 30 years, I'm going to drink a lot more beers"

Now here I sit in the LaQuinta Inn still broke and still homeless but I know the future here at Texas will be a good one once I am able to get settled in. I just have to get used to this big city livin. There are class sizes at Texas bigger than my hometown and it takes longer for people to commute to work than it does for me to watch an episode of Friday Night Lights on DVD. But as Riggins and my man Tomko say ... Texas Forever.

To close this blog I would like to extend an invite for anyone and everyone to come visit me in Austin. Luckily I have plenty to entice people to come because if I moved to New Jersey than I don't think I could talk anybody into coming and seeing me.  

Do I Have ADD?

I was sitting in a co-worker's office the other day when our assistant tennis coach pointed something out to me that I never really thought of. I had tied a piece of string to a rubber band and was using it to try and lasso items while I conversed with another. I never thought anything of it until the following conversation (words not exact but how I remember them).

Stokke: What is that? Did you make a lasso?
Me: I guess so, or I can also use it to snap people with. I don't really think about what I am using it for
Stokke: Are you any good at it?
Me: I haven't snagged anything yet.

a few minutes later

Stokke: Have you ever woke up in the morning and had serious ADD?

Me: (holding up the rubberband/string lasso) ummm yeah sometimes

That was when it hit me that maybe I do have ADD or better known as Adult attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I started to look up the definition but then forgot about it and started bouncing a Monique Currie ball off the wall.

Let me break down the words of the disorder to see if it really does apply to me.

ADULT: Debatable - I guess since I am almost to turn 30 I would qualify for this. However many who know me might disagree as I act childish more often than not. When I volunteer at the Children's Hospital I enjoy playing with the toys more than the kids do sometimes, same with my two nieces. I consider myself to be very playful and like to create games to play, usually around the office to the chagrin of my co-workers. At home I have a basket full of balls on my end table in the living room, a slinky, two marshmallow guns and several other games throughout. I have at least two examples of this in my office alone as I have my prizes from the state fair, a stuffed Stewie from family guy and a stuffed clownfish from nemo, hanging up. There are other stories behind this but I will save them for my state fair blog. 

ATTENTION: Average - I can buckle down and focus when I need to but at the same time it is really easy for things to steal my attention. For instance I could be working on a press release at work and someone sends me an email with a video in it. Next thing I know I am watching the video, then talking to someone about the video, then talking to the same person about 20 other random topics and all of a sudden it is an hour later. I then go down the hall to ask someone a question and end up back at my office finishing the release 2-3 hours later when I remember what I was originally doing. At home it is the same way. I get my bills together to pay them and then the stove timer goes off, load of laundry finishes, Swamp People comes on TV and then 2-3 days later I find the bills on the counter and pay them.

DEFICIT - Yes - not relatable but financially it can be a struggle at times. The darn rise of gas prices has caused everything to go up a lot and unfortunately the salary has remained the same so either I stop eating Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuits or I just have to live month to month. Easy choice is I choose chicken biscuits and living month to month.

HYPERACTIVITY - Good here - hyperactivity does not fit me. I am about as laid back as it gets. I am a lean back, prop the feet up and have an iced tea by my side sort of guy. I force myself to run but hate it. Mentally I am bouncing off the walls all the time but physically I could pass as one of those guys who paint themselves bronze or something else and pretend to be a statue like this statue of liberty guy.

DISORDER: Your guess is as good as mine - ADD up all the previous information and it certainly sounds like I could have ADD. When it comes to playing around and making up games I might be an ADDict because I do it pretty much all day long. This may be something I need to ADDress in the future but for right now I think I am fine.

If any of you think I do have ADD and need to seek help I am open to an intervention. I have never been a part of one and am always looking to improve myself. I won't change my ways but that is just being stubborn.

Come On Irene

I have bought all the 2x4s at Home Depot and Lowe's to board up my windows, hired a company to raise my house six feet off the ground, stocked my pantry with nothing but 100 loafs of bread and 50 jards of peanut butter, purchased 25 10-gallon water jugs, filled 20 gas cans with premium unleaded and cleared out every bag of gummi worms in the state

 so I say ...

Come on Irene too-loo rye-aye
Come on Irene too-loo rye-aye
Toora toora-too-loora

Now you have grown, now you have shown, oh Irene
Come on Irene, these things they are real and I know
how you feel
Now I must say more than ever
things round here have changed
Too-ra loo-ra too-ra loo-rye-aye

With this super, mega hurricane coming our way tomorrow I have almost come to the verge of evacuating the city. Unfortunately I filled so many gas cans for my house, the Circle K is now out of fuel and my truck has gone from F to passed the E and is almost to say see ya to the D on the fuel guage. I am also not sure where I could go because the waves are sure to swallow half the United States and I don't think I can get to the Mississippi river by tomorrow afternoon. They say this storm may claim more victims than Hurricane Shapiro recently did to the University of Miami.

HURRICANE SHAPIRO

I am afraid of going into shock with all of these natural disasters of late. In back-to-back days my home state of Colorado was rocked by an earthquake that could have put true meaning to the Continental Divide and split the state down the middle. It could have done two things: create a new Grand Canyon or give the U.S. 51 states. Of course most people out here in the East don't know Colorado is not just one big mountain that people ski on so the Rocky Mountains would have stayed Colorado and the rest would be called Western Kansas. The other huge earthquake was claimed to take place in Virginia but I think it was the effect of the entire U.S. trying to blast New Jersey into the Atlantic Ocean. The "earthquake" was also felt here in North Carolina by many. There are t-shirts for sale that say "I survived the 2011 Earthquake". The tremors moved Duke's four national championship banners just enough to make room for No. 5. I also heard the basketball team was awakened over in China from the tremors. It was either that or Georgetown fighting the housecleaning staff at the hotel. Maybe the entire thing wasn't an earthquake after all and was really the Graboids from the great Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward film "Tremors".

 
 I am sure these rash of natural disasters will bring up more talk of the apocalypse. Well with my stash of gummi worms I am ready to go with a smile on my face if that happens.

Music and War ... What Is It Good For???

So last weekend I had a couple of hours of free time believe it or not and was chillaxing on my couch watching TV when I came across a great movie ... The Patriot with Mel Gibson. I have always been interested in the Revolutionary War and especially the Civil War. I was watching one of the battle scenes and the British were marching forward with drums and flutes a blazin. I started wondering "why in the world did they play music during battle?"

I started reading up on the history of music during war and it goes back a long ways. Apparently it has always been used to help build morale and as a psychological weapon against opponents. Dating all the way back to the Old Testament when they used ram's horns which are also used by the orcs in Lord of the Rings. The Greek and Roman armies both used brass (tuba and trumpet type instruments) and percussion during war. Of course Scotland used bagpipes which were somehow banned by the British after Prince Charles Edward Stuart's Scottish army was defeated in 1746. What I want to know is who is the governing body of war. Do you think they are like the NCAA and dish out suspensions when you hire mercenaries to hide in the bushes and use unfair tactics during battles or are they like the NFL and hand out ungodly fines to people who do not obey the gentleman's rules of combat?

It has always baffled me that two foes used to line up straight across from each other in a wide open field so they can easily gun down a large percentage of each other's forces but that could be another blog all together. In the middle ages military bands were used to transmit orders sort of like a morse code I guess. I also like that after fighting another country soldiers would bring back new ideas of how they could improve their military band. It eventually became where trumpets were not used in combat as much but more as a wake up call or like a buzzer to assemble the troops. Drums and flutes became the battle instruments to help soldiers march to a certain beat and stay together during infantry maneuvers.

Just think about how it would be now if music was used during war. They would probably design an AKA47 with a built in speaker and a place you could plug your IPOD into. How would the Afghanistan soldiers feel about hearing Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA or Toby Keith's Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue coming from the bushes? Some may even stand on the sidelines and play Edwin Starr's War (What is it Good For, Absolutely Nothing). I would think they could also advance their strategies and include dance fighting like in Zoolander or South Park. Our troops could do the Dougie or break out the sprinkler and yell "You Got Served!!" when dominating another soldier with our sweet dance moves.



Back during the Gulf War why didn't soldiers carry boom boxes on their shoulders during battles. Why don't soldiers install subwoofers and high dollar stereo systems in the humvees and fighter planes? The government already spends a boat load of money on the military so might as well go all out to provide some great music for the troops during battle. If nothing else I think they should get this group of soldiers to perform during combat because the girl is really good.

Taking Off the Helmet is My Hard Knocks

I invite everyone to visit GoDuke.com or click on the link below to see the first edition of my own version of HBO's Hard Knocks called Taking Off the Helmet: A Behind-the-Scenes look at the 2011 Duke Football Training Camp.

Taking Off The Helmet

First off I would like to say we had fewer members on our staff then HBO had makeup people but in a week's time myself, Chad Lampman and Mike Cappetto were able to piece together a pretty good show if I do say so myself. I also give special thanks to Tom Long and Adam Barkley in our football video department for working with us and letting us borrow a camera. It was great how we worked around only having one handheld video camera, one set of wireless mics and three computers to edit on. All this with our staff doing a lot of work with basketball as they get ready for this China trip. I am not going to lie, I am ready for them to leave already so we can focus on this football show.

Working on the show has been great for me. It took me some time to get used to doing video work again since I haven't shot any video or edited any since my junior year of college in the spring of 2003. It was a quick transition back after eight years as I picked things up pretty quick and started remembering bits and pieces of my classes and training. Who knows how great the show can be if I actually become halfway decent at it again.

The show is definitely our own and different than Hard Knocks. Being in a college environment we can't do the types of storylines such as position battles or coaches speaking about players individually as much. However we do have such things as guys still taking classes during camp which most people don't realize. Our coach David Cutcliffe will give us some great audio and is a gem to work with so the show was really fun to work on this first week. It almost made me forget about my real job at Duke as I was in my office for a combined 20 minutes this entire week. I did enjoy hanging out with Chad and Cappetto however.

I hope everyone likes the first show and will tune in the next two Fridays for the last two episodes. I will try to make them entertaining for all.

Maybe the Greatest Tattoo Idea Ever

For some of my friends this will come as no surprise to you since I have had a hard time keeping it a secret. I have an idea for a tattoo that will be lifelike, scary, original and imposing all in one. The placement of the tattoo is on the neck. First reactions are usually "wouldn't that hurt?" and the answer is probably since I have never gotten a tattoo. To best describe my tattoo here is a picture of something I would have in mind only in closer quarters since there is not as much space on your neck.

Now the tattoo would mostly be outlined except for the teeth, ears, eyes, nose and claws. The rest would be filled in with human neck hair to bring a 3D look to it. Depending on if you have brown or black hair will determine the type of bear obviously. The greatest thing is that it defends everyone's tattoo argument about what happens when you get older. Well with age the bear just becomes a polar bear when your hair turns white. Problem solved.

If you are judging me for this idea and think it sounds similar to a chia pet well my answer to you is it is just an idea because I will never in my life get a tattoo. I can't stand tattoos about as much as I can't stand smoking. The closest I ever came to a tattoo was in Hawai'i when I had a tribal tattoo drawn on my entire arm with a marker at a Luau. The bartender at a local bar thought it was amazing until it started rubbing off when I spilled beer down my arm.

My two biggest turnoffs with females is smoking and tattoos. I don't care if people have them, I won't judge, but for my personal preference I could not date a female with tattoos. I had a hard time in Las Vegas earlier this summer because some of the most attractive females I have seen up close and personal became very average when I saw they had tattoos - and most of them did. There were tattoos up and down their legs, covering arms, all over their stomach and back - you name it. I would take a less attractive girl with no tattoos any day (and I have to because lets be honest I am not much to look at).  To me tattoos take away from a person's natural beauty.

A lot of my friends have tattoos as do three of my sisters. I think some of them are pretty cool but obviously not as cool as my bear tattoo idea. I don't know if you can see it but one of our football players, Donovan Varner, has my favorite tattoo.

It is a mobster with a tommy gun and it says "You need people like me." Donovan also probably has the best hair of anyone on our team but I will leave that off of this blog.

For the most part though I do not like tattoos but if anyone wants to steal my idea for the bear tattoo please do. All I ask is that you take a picture of it and sent it to me for my office wall of heroes. You will go right up next to Donovan.

How I Think Youth Sports Should Be

A conversation in the office this afternoon sparked an idea for this week's blog. While I should be writing a paper for my class I decided to instead grab an ice cold beer and write about how youth sports would play out if I were in charge of things. I will look at it from a variety of different perspectives.

The Kid

First of all the kid is the most important part of this process because it is all about them. I don't think any parent should force their kid to do something they don't want to do. I am OK with them trying to get them to try something out to see if they like it but if they say they don't then don't force it. I also hate money being involved with kids. If it were up to me I would get rid of all the AAU organizations, eliminate fees to play and ban paying coaches for anyone under the age of 13. Once they get to high school you can get your greedy hands on them but before that let them have some fun. 

The Coach

The coach should be a volunteer. It should be a parent or a person who loves the sport and has a little free time to help out in afternoons and on the weekend. As a coach the rules would be:

1: During the season every kid gets a chance to start

2: Equal playing time for all kids

3: Each kid gets to play in every game

4: You teach the fundamentals and don't drill them into the ground

5: Never yell at a child on the team

6: Make sure the kids have fun by playing games at practice and joking around

I took this approach when I was a coach back in the day. I am proud to say I retired with a perfect record in my career as a head coach. I was 12-0 and knew that it was the right time to call it quits. I led the Lopez Elementary 4th and 5th grade girl's basketball teams to 6-0 records each. I would like to point out that one of my star 4th graders, Paige Applegate, went on to average 10 points, four rebounds, three assists and two steals per game in 2009-10 at Rocky Mountain H.S. On the other hand I am depressed that she has now graduated from high school.

Here is a picture of my two unbeatable squads in the Fort Collins recreation league

The Dad

My version of the dad would be really laid back. In fact all of the dads would not care about the outcome of the game. They would all hang out together and cheer on their kid but wouldn't put any pressure on them at all. I remember in high school when the dads all parked their trucks along the fence on each side of the field and some would sit on the tailgate and watch the baseball game. I think if they should all bring a six pack and just chill in the stands, drinking beer and talking about women and sports. There would never be any fighting or yelling at players, coaches and officials. 

The Mom

Don't hate me ladies for writing this but I would make sure the moms take turns each week bringing snacks and juice boxes for the kids. Every game becomes like a little kids birthday party. The moms all did this for my teams and it was amazing. They even chipped in to buy me a gift card after the season for volunteering. During the games the moms could sit around and talk about American Idol or Dancing With the Stars and decide who the Bachelor or Bachelorette is going to give the boot.

The Venue

People should chip in to take care of fields and gyms so kids would have a free place to go and play but when I was growing up we didn't need any of this. My buddies and I would get 10 guys together and head to the park with a nerf football. We spent hours playing out there and having fun. During recess at school we either played football or kickball for the most part. Most of the kids joined in be it girls or boys and we all had a blast. We weren't seven years old, paying $500 for a personal quarterback coach and several thousands more going around the country to play in basketball tournaments all summer long. Instead our parents were buying us snack packs with that money and teaching us good values and about hard work while letting us be kids and have fun.  

Movin On Up to the East Side

My blog is getting out late this week but for good reason. I have spent every evening this week moving from my apartment to a new, much nicer place. I have a hard time staying in one place which is why I went to two different colleges and moved to a different state each of my first four years out of college. Now that I have been at Duke for an eternity (four straight years) I needed some kind of a change. I did not change jobs or move to a different state but I did graduate from my one bedroom apartment to a beautiful townhouse.

My townhouse is almost everything I have always wanted. It has two bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and large closet. There is an upstairs loft as well with big glass windows on each side looking outdoors. Downstairs there is a large living room/dining room with hardwood floors and a fireplace. The kitchen is spacious and has a bar overlooking the living/dining room. One of my lifetime dreams was to own a refrigerator with an icemaker in the door and now that dream has come true. To many of you it might be sad that one of my dreams consisted of this but I always said small dreams are attainable, big dreams are just that ... dreams. My place also has a garage and outside the back door is a walking/running path that leads around the townhouse community and around a lake just down the road. The only two things that would make this place better is a downstairs with a pool table and it being in the mountains.

In the words of the Jeffersons ...

Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

I have never taken anything I have had for granite and have worked my way up to where I am today. I think back to some of my early places through college and after. My first two years at Colorado State I had a studio apartment with a Murphy bed. For those who don't know what that is, it is a bed that comes out of the wall. My first year after college I lived in a 3rd floor place in New Hampshire. It wasn't much to look at and I had zero furniture. I moved out there with only what I could fit in my truck. For the first several months I slept on a sleeping bag on a hardwood floor. Then people I worked with found out about it and donated several furniture items including a bed. My intern year at Duke I lived in the basement of a house where the son of our Athletic Director lived. I had my own kitchen and bedroom and advanced to a futon. My first full time job was at Alabama where I slept on an air mattress for four months in a nice one bedroom apartment until we received a month's paycheck as a bonus for making a bowl game. That bonus went to a new bed and couch which are two of the best purchases I ever made next to the washer and dryer I bought right away in Tuscaloosa. All of this has never been bad because through it all I remembered my dad's story about living in a bread truck in Oregon after he finished college. He didn't think that was so bad and for me I figured I always had it better than that because of what my parents instilled in me.

Now I am living large with my new place. I don't make a lot of money and will have to scrape by to afford this new lifestyle but to me the money is well spent because I know I will enjoy going home every day. Happiness is greater than money any day of the week.     

What Happens in Vegas ... Goes in My Blog

For the second time this summer I took a trip with the help of a free hotel from the ESPYs. This time it was myself and my buddy Forman taking our talents to Las Vegas AKA the City of Sin, the Entertainment Capital of the World, the City of Lights and Glitter Gulch. It was a two-man wolfpack with hopes and dreams of striking it rich or at least finding some good looking girls to spend the weekend with.

I would like to start with the girls. About the only way to keep from blowing through your life savings in the casino is to go to the hotel pools. We had three in our hotel, the Cosmopolitan, but one charged a cover (dumb) and the other we briefly looked for but could not find. Thus we spent our time at the Bamboo Pool. This is where we did the bulk of our socializing with the ladies. Oddly enough all of them we talked to were from other countries. There was a tremendous Canadian who was told to leave the pool by her brother because he wanted to hang with us and drink beers. A large group of Australian girls who were defensive about their country despite us only saying positive things. My favorite was two french girls who were talking back and forth. I said "You are speaking French right?" and the reply I got was a head nod yes. Unfortunately the only thing I can say in French is "It is beautiful outside isn't it" and at that time it had just poured rain and was still really cloudy.

Away from the pool my favorite girl was the one who asked me for my hotel key so she could get into a club. I said "as long as you drop it back by the room". She never dropped by but I wasn't back in the room until 3:30 a.m. so in that four hours she could have tried to. There was an Asian girl who wanted her picture taken with Forman but he had many drinks in him and at that time couldn't get out any real words. One of the great things about Vegas is there are always girls dancing on tables, in boxes or serving you drinks. I would have to say some of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen were in our hotel. One night when the tables were turned and it was me who was feeling the alcohol affects more we were walking to dinner when a parade of Planet Hollywood girls came by us singing "Vegas, Vegas, something something". I don't remember all the words but one of them tried to throw beads on me because I was dancing alongside of them. I am not sure why they were all laughing though.

On to the gambling. I lost quite a bit of money and was depressed for about 30 minutes but then realized that in the grand scheme of things I knew I would lose and was really just paying $50 per rum and coke. That is about the price of a drink at the bar in Vegas anyway (kidding it is really only $20). Once I was down a few hundo after the first day and morning of the next day I wised up. I started playing a horse racing game in the MGM that took quarters or penny slots the rest of the weekend. I probably broke even or won a little bit by doing this. I hit several big bonuses and will now stick to the penny slots even though I never really know how I am winning.

Vegas was not all gambling and girls, however. We had some impecable timing. We were riding an escalator to go eat at Burger Bar in Mandalay Bay when we saw a sign advertising a Pete Rose appearance at noon. We checked the time and it was 11:55 a.m. About 10 steps further and there he was. I took a picture of him while he was talking on his cell phone and Forman struck up a short conversation about Jeter's 3,000th hit. Ironic that we met Pete Rose in a casino.

Forman had never been to In-N-Out Burger so we ventured to try it out. The Fire Marshall would have closed the place down if he saw how many people were in there. It was worth the wait but we had to eat outside where it was really hot. Literally 30 seconds after we threw our trash away it started to pour rain ... again really good timing.

Two other quick mentions about our trip. We love Earl of Sandwich because the food was cheap and tasty and it was across the street from our hotel. We ate there every night for dinner. Also I have to mention the show Recycled Percussion we saw. The great thing about it was they gave everyone in the audience a drumstick and a selection of a pot, pan, bucket or other household item in one of four big trunks. They allowed us to be a part of the show which was pretty cool. I never got to play drums on pots and pans growing up so it was like going back in time to right my childhood in a way.

Patriotism: God Bless America

Fresh off the 4th of July I thought this would be a good time to talk about being a red-blooded American and my thoughts on patriotism. I hopefully fall into a category of a large group of people that absolutely loves the United States of America. I think most people would agree that there is no better country on Earth that is better than ours ... especially if you have been across our borders to Canada or Mexico or to any other country around the globe.

The 4th of July is obviously the day the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776 to declare independence from Great Britain (not sure what is so great about it and probably why it should be called England). They probably still haven't gotten over the fact that we won the Revolutionary War and then had to save their butts in two World Wars as well. This holiday to celebrate independence is way better than any other country. Grito de Dolores (Cry of Dolores) or El Grito de la Independencia (Cry of Independence) is what I guess would count as Mexico's independence on September 16 but who has heard of that. And if Ashley is reading this it is not the Cry of Doloros. Canada Day is July 1 and used to be called Dominion Day but they didn't colonize until 1867 so it took them nearly 100 more years than it did us. The only independence day other than our own that I even knew about was Bastille Day which is July 14 and is France's day of independence. I only knew that because it is my grandma's birthday and saw it listed on the calendar so I googled it a few years ago.

Who doesn't love the pageantry that goes along with the 4th of July. Nothing says America more than people getting together with friends and family to grill some burgers and dogs, drink some beer and watch fireworks. You take that and add in some apple pie, Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA playing in the background and an apache helicopter flyover and you have yourself the perfect day to celebrate this wonderful country.

I feel like people should show their patriotism all year long and not just on certain occasions. I believe the pledge of allegiance should be said every morning in schools. That was one of my favorite parts of school growing up because I loved looking at the stars and stripes. I even had a large U.S. flag hanging on the wall behind my bed when I was in college so Iit was a reminder of how great I had it every morning I woke up. I am also a firm believer in every American putting their hand over their heart when the National Anthem is played (and no hats people). I also think that any time you hear the Star Spangled Banner regardless of where you are at you should stand still and for the love of god stay quiet. One of my biggest pet peeves is people talking during the national anthem - it is less than two minutes for pete's sake. I also think people should be more patriotic when people are representing the USA in the Olympics or World Cup. When I was in Germany for the World Cup in 2006, all the other countries were so much more passionate about their teams and it pissed me off.

I would like to close with some pictures of my top five patriotic performers.

1. Hacksaw Jim Duggan - My favorite wrestler of all time. Not only did he carry around an American flag but he also toted a 2x4 which is amazing. He would constantly chant "U.S.A. ... U.S.A. ... U.S.A." I was reminded about the 2x4 the other night when "The Rock" used a 2x4 to bring justice to his hometown in the movie Walking Tall.

2. Butterbean - no doubt my favorite boxer of all time and really the only reason I have ever watched the sport of boxing because it is so boring. He rocked the patriotic trunks and fists of justice, making the sport exciting because with any punch he could knock a guy across the ring and end the fight. He never had many fights scheduled for more than three rounds but he never really needed to.

 
3. American Gladiators - I loved this television show and nothing says America better than competitions with people jacked up on steroids. I mean baseball, America's pastime, is full of these athletes. The only Americans love more than baseball is suing each other so you know American Gladiators would be a hit. My two favorite things about the show were obviously the red, white and blue uniforms of the gladiators but the events were great, especially assault and of course the eliminator.

4. Super Dave Osborne - a comedian who played the role of a stunt man and had his own variety show in the late 80's and early 90's. He acted as though he would perform extremely dangerous stunts and something always happened where he ended up seriously injured. He was very funny and a great entertainer. His outfit included red, white and blue with gold stars shouting I love America.

5. Apollo Creed - hard to root for because he fought Rocky and I suppose people all rooted for the Italian Stallion since he was the movie's underdog. I on the other hand wanted Apollo Creed to dominate because of this outfit he entered the ring in.

USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA ... USA

From White House to the Big House

Last Saturday I was up in the nation's capital visiting my friend Ashlee and the two of us decided to go to the BBQ Festival. This ended up being quite an experience as a simple food demonstration turned into me being maybe minutes away from replacing Whitey Bulger on the FBI most wanted list.

The Beginning
As is the case at any food festival of course you want to try a ton of samples. I was expecting to eat about 10 pounds of BBQ after paying a $12 admission fee just to get in. However, the only free samples as it turned out were at the Safeway tent. Naturally 90 percent of the people at this festival enjoy free stuff as much as the next guy so Ashlee and myself waited in line for what was probably approaching two hours. Then we came to find out that the samples were pretty much what you get on a Saturday afternoon when you reach the end of an isle at Safeway. Ironically none of the free samples had anything to do with BBQ - at a BBQ festival!!!! We loaded up though and made the most of our wait in line. With a stack of unfinished goods in hand when we reached the end of the line a place to sit was next on the list. At the end of the tent they had several folding chairs set up where they were doing food demonstrations mixed in with some sweet live music (a piano and drums).

More Free Stuff
A demonstration just started up after we took a seat. A guy was going to grill up some steaks which had me salivating since being from a landlocked state has stuffed me into the meat and potatoes category of carnivores. A couple sat next to us and through a question the guy asked I discovered that by asking a question you get free gifts. This was my opportunity to get my monies worth from my admission fee so I asked something about why he put the fruit and vegetables on the grill with the steak. I didn't care about the answer but my prize was a set of stainless steel grilling tools in a nice case (pictured below).

Was I Approaching the FBI's Most Wanted List?
After we had our fill of the BBQ festival we decided to skip over a couple of blocks to see the White House. Both of us had seen it before but it is like when you go to Mount Rushmore, you have to go see the faces on the mountain. We began our stroll over and laughed at numerous people getting yelled at by bicycle cops to stay off certain areas of the grounds. We reached a dead end as a fence blocked off what used to be the path to where you go and view the White House from in front of a fence about a mile away with your binoculars or telescope. We turned around and looked for another path to where all the other people were ooing and awwing. We found a long trail between two orange net fences and said "this must be it". It turned out it either rained or they watered the grass way too much because it was muddy and my free sneakers from Duke got ruined (I would like to get reimbursed for the shoes if anyone from the White House is an avid reader of my blog). With mud-covered shoes I could now care less about the White House but at this point I was like the Griswolds in National Lampoon's Vacation and the White House was my Wally World. I was carrying my free set of grill tools with me and set the silver case down on the ground so I could take a snapshot like any American tourist would.

 
At this point the security on top of the White House doubled in size immediately and although I was over a mile away and my cheap camera as 2x zoom or something like that I could swear they were all pointing their sniper rifles at the two of us. I picked the case back up and we exited the premises before word got relayed to the bicycle cops. As swift a foot as I am, I am no match for an officer on two wheels. I have a feeling in this case it would be a shoot first, ask questions later scenario. The other option running through my mind was spending the rest of my days in Leavenworth prison because I asked a dumb question at a steak grilling presentation. 

The Mason Jar

This week's blog has to do with my new found discovery from my trip back home to Colorado ... drinking beer from a mason jar. It was the night before I had to fly back to North Carolina and I was in Denver hanging out with my friends from home Aaron, Josh and Dane. We all went to Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill where I also met up with my friend Tanya and her husband Joe. I had heard about this place before but I had no idea it would be as great as it was.

After we all got there Josh bought a round for all and they came over with 32 oz mason jars filled with beer. Once it hit the lips it was so good and I said "fill it up again." The beer tasted as good as it ever has coming from the jar and I knew from that point on Toby Keith was a genious. Not only was his beer in mason jars a great idea but he also had really attractive ladies who were called "Whiskey Girls" who were around all over the place. It was a great bar for all types of people and also featured a mechanical bull and live music. It basically had everything I want in a place - great beer, gorgeous women and live music.

Here are some other little known facts about mason jars. They were invented and patented by John Landis Mason, a Philadelphia tinsmith, in 1858. Mason jars are made of soda-lime glass and come in a variety of sizes including pint, quart, half-gallon and cup, as well as in wide-mouth and regular-mouth openings.

Now prior to this week I had only ever thought of mason jars as being used for canning goods. My grandparents used them for that very reason all the time, canning pickles, green beans, jam, peaches and other things. I had never thought of them being used for drinking beer. It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I almost missed out on this for 30 years.

The trip to Toby Keith's bar has got me thinking now that I am back East. One of my first goals for next week is to find some mason jars to load up my cabinet with. I will be splurging for the quart size which was just about perfect last weekend. This is something I recommend to all and will start spreading the word throughout the South although I bet some people probaby drink moonshine from mason jars in the back woods of Guilford County.

Fat Chicks and the Homeless

While the title of this blog may turn a lot of people off of it I feel they shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Fat Chicks has absolutely nothing to do with what you think it might and, well, homeless people is a topic everybody has an opinion on so I am going to give mine today. Welcome to the second edition of my blog.

Fat Chicks
I have returned to my home state, Colorful Colorado, for my annual summer visit. On the weekends during the summer my father and stepmother run the Hedlund House Museum in my hometown of Hugo. I went to visit my pops this past Saturday afternoon and while he was showing some out-of-towners the house and its exhibits I was chillin in the office reading various items lying around. Then I came across a local magazine called Colorado Country Life. One of the story headlines on the cover stated "The Fat Chicks." The way my mine works I immediately became intrigued by this thinking "Why in the world would someone put that on a cover of a magazine."

The headline did its job, however, sparking my interest to read the article as I was laughing pretty hard when I read it. Turns out the story dealt with four draft horses that pull a wagon. The owner of the horses gave them the nickname "Fat Chicks" after looking at their "nice, round, colorful behinds" all day long.

This story also reminded me of another reference to fat chicks. A co-worker of mine is always talking about a restaurant in Pennsylvania that sold a sandwich called a "fat chick" and he wanted to open up his own place that sold the same sandwich. A google search for fat chicks brought some unfortunate results so I had to add in sandwich to the search title. What I came up with was the same exact sandwich he always talks about located at a place called Benchwarmers in Ithaca, N.Y. The sandwich contains a 20 oz breaded chicken breast, grilled bacon, melted Monterey Jack cheese and an excessive amount of fries and if anyone eats it in under 30 minutes they get a t-shirt.

Homeless People

I think a lot of people share my points of view on homeless people which basically entails anybody can avoid being homeless they just have to be willing to work. In my opinion there are plenty of opportunities out there for work you just have to be willing to do anything. If I were homeless I would accept any job out there to get off the streets and have a roof over my head. An argument some might have is that businesses aren't willing to hire someone off the streets because of their appearance, stinch or reliability issues. Are you telling me though that even the insurance place that has a person dress up as the Statue of Liberty or Chick-Fil-A that puts someone in a cow suit won't hire someone to stand on the corner and wave a sign at cars driving by. There are plenty of opportunities out there just watch the show Dirty Jobs. Those people stink from their job so have homeless people do some of that.

The problem as most people know is that the reason 99 percent of them became homeless was alcohol and drug addiction. I hate when people give them money because they will just go spend it on their addiction. In college when my buddy and I were in New Orleans I went and bought a bottle of liquor and a playboy to give to a homeless man. I figured I would save him the trouble of taking my money and buying the same thing. He was probably the happiest homeless man ever. Sure I would like to believe in the best of people and that if you give them money they will use it for food or save it up to where they can buy nice clothes and get back on their feet with a job, but nine times out of 10 there is zero percent of that happening.

Even Ted Williams "the man with the golden voice" that was found in Columbus, Ohio couldn't get his life straight. He was offered numerous jobs people would only dream about but continued his alcohol addiction and was convinced to go to rehab by Dr. Phil. I looked up what he is doing now and an article two months after his story hit the national news said he was living in a halfway house in Los Angeles trying to shop a reality TV show. That is what is wrong with television these days but I will get into that another time.

One other thought I have had about homeless people is why don't they migrate to warmer climates. Not that I want Florida and Arizona to be only retired folks and homeless people but what sence does it make to sleep out in the freezing cold. I always think about this when I am in New York City or Boston or even North Carolina in the middle of winter. Save up $40 and buy an Amtrak ticket to somewhere down South where you won't nearly freeze to death. Homeless people should take lessons from birds and fly south for the winter.