Maybe the Greatest Tattoo Idea Ever

For some of my friends this will come as no surprise to you since I have had a hard time keeping it a secret. I have an idea for a tattoo that will be lifelike, scary, original and imposing all in one. The placement of the tattoo is on the neck. First reactions are usually "wouldn't that hurt?" and the answer is probably since I have never gotten a tattoo. To best describe my tattoo here is a picture of something I would have in mind only in closer quarters since there is not as much space on your neck.

Now the tattoo would mostly be outlined except for the teeth, ears, eyes, nose and claws. The rest would be filled in with human neck hair to bring a 3D look to it. Depending on if you have brown or black hair will determine the type of bear obviously. The greatest thing is that it defends everyone's tattoo argument about what happens when you get older. Well with age the bear just becomes a polar bear when your hair turns white. Problem solved.

If you are judging me for this idea and think it sounds similar to a chia pet well my answer to you is it is just an idea because I will never in my life get a tattoo. I can't stand tattoos about as much as I can't stand smoking. The closest I ever came to a tattoo was in Hawai'i when I had a tribal tattoo drawn on my entire arm with a marker at a Luau. The bartender at a local bar thought it was amazing until it started rubbing off when I spilled beer down my arm.

My two biggest turnoffs with females is smoking and tattoos. I don't care if people have them, I won't judge, but for my personal preference I could not date a female with tattoos. I had a hard time in Las Vegas earlier this summer because some of the most attractive females I have seen up close and personal became very average when I saw they had tattoos - and most of them did. There were tattoos up and down their legs, covering arms, all over their stomach and back - you name it. I would take a less attractive girl with no tattoos any day (and I have to because lets be honest I am not much to look at).  To me tattoos take away from a person's natural beauty.

A lot of my friends have tattoos as do three of my sisters. I think some of them are pretty cool but obviously not as cool as my bear tattoo idea. I don't know if you can see it but one of our football players, Donovan Varner, has my favorite tattoo.

It is a mobster with a tommy gun and it says "You need people like me." Donovan also probably has the best hair of anyone on our team but I will leave that off of this blog.

For the most part though I do not like tattoos but if anyone wants to steal my idea for the bear tattoo please do. All I ask is that you take a picture of it and sent it to me for my office wall of heroes. You will go right up next to Donovan.